to live, to experience and to share
anything that helps kartika angkawijaya during hard times, inspires or motivate her to go through those times
It’s been a long while.. since last entry to the blog site. I know, I told myself that I want to go back to blogging regularly, but somehow this and that are preventing me to go back to something I enjoy in the past. It’s been awhile that I sit down and have a chat with my mind. Let’s start with what happened recently. First, on role being made redundant in June. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I was […]
I know, it’s way way late for this. There had been some internal monologue happened offline. To post or not to post. My brain brought me to a rabbit hole of thinking why is this and why is that. It’s constant internal struggle. Sometimes I also wonder why. I didn’t have such a struggle last time. I can channel my thought without any issues. There was a period of time when you feel “alone”. Because you and your friends are […]
It’s time for the (work) mid year review.. (oh no) That’s what I feel this week. I did my homework, preparing about things to discuss with boss. I was quite confident that I’m okay this time. But I wasn’t. Again I was humbled. That after the session I went spiral down that I’m not good enough, my justification was seen as excuse, why I can’t meet certain goal up to this year. Tried to voice out, but feels just slammed […]
Surgeons are put through rigorous tests just to get in the game. We endure decades of anxiety-provoking acronyms. SAT. MCAT. USMLE. ABSITE. And if we pass that gauntlet, we are rewarded with the need to log 850 surgeries and take an 8-hour multiple choice and oral exam. There is almost no time to take in the victory. Or even a nap. Researchers studied why some people perform better on tests. They found that it’s not necessarily related to intelligence. Some […]
How good are you in … Was one of the most memorable question asked to me this week. During chat with a friend around strength and weakness, she noticed that I diverted to say what is my strength, so she asked why it was so hard for me to say it. I replied my friend that because I don’t think I’m good enough, as there is someone better than me. And maybe it’s the upbringing thing that made me can’t […]
It’s been awhile I haven’t been blogging here. But this year I’m planning to be more regularly back to this space. I don’t like to rant usually. But let’s take it this time is special come back 🤣 Sometimes it’s irritating when you’re sharing your thought process about your finding and the other party just say that I’m anyhow and saying it with condescending vibe that I’m such a failure When you’re doing analysis there are many ways If I […]
How often you say that inside your head? Or “by right, ..” and some other similar phrase. I have those moments last week which made me stress out because I want to do things in certain way and expecting certain result or outcome. But it didn’t happen. I was feeling down, demoralized and questioning myself if I do it right? To the extent that I kept messaging my friends in group chat. I lose my confident. The result was bad […]
Trust is something you build on over time and earn. It’s not something you can just get from other people. I learned it from a comic book back then during my high school days. As I grow up, I have my moments when I tend to second guess people and doubt them. I feel worried if I need to trust people and they will disappoint me. So I decided to think all ways to prevent that. Some of my managers […]