Category: attitude

anything that helps kartika angkawijaya during hard times, inspires or motivate her to go through those times

Accountability, Guilt, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

blue sticky note with facts or fears text

A recent cat show made me realize something about myself. My friend, who was supposed to join me, couldn’t make it again due to work. It wasn’t the first time. I felt disappointed. At the same time, I found myself questioning whether I should continue showing Conan. Part of me wondered if I was being selfish. Conan is not the strongest show cat in the ring. He may eventually achieve his Grand title, but the journey will likely be long. […]

Part 1: Am I Lost, Or Am I Just Looking For A Different Kind Of Growth?

close up of small green plant on soil

A conversation with a friend recently made me realise something. The work I do today spans a surprisingly wide range of responsibilities. Product thinking, project management, eCommerce operations, process improvement, analytics, content, systems, stakeholder management, and occasionally getting hands-on when needed. It made me wonder: “Am I becoming a full-stack product manager?” Then another question followed shortly after. “Or am I actually lost?” Looking Back At A Previous Chapter When I reflected on periods of my career where I felt […]

AI, Attention Span, And The Fear Of Losing Depth

portrait of a woman with her hands on her head

One thing I kept questioning recently was: “Am I becoming worse at focusing because of AI?” I noticed my brain no longer processes thoughts the same way it used to. Previously, I could: Now my mind feels more: One thought quickly becomes: At times, it almost feels impossible to sit still mentally. Why Chat-Based Reflection Started Helping One thing I realised:my brain no longer enjoys processing in isolation the same way. Instead of: I now process better through: Talking through […]

When Helping Others Starts Turning Into Quiet Resentment

the word think on a pin board

For a long time, I thought my frustration toward certain people meant: Especially when I reacted internally to situations like: Part of me kept wondering:“Am I becoming cold?” But after reflecting more deeply, I realised the issue was not lack of empathy. The real issue was exhaustion from carrying too much. The Pattern I Started Noticing I realised I naturally become: Especially in: Because I tend to: Over time, people like this often quietly become the “buffer” in a group. […]

When You Outgrow Your Environment But Still Fear Becoming Arrogant

wooden blocks spelling challenge concept

One uncomfortable realisation I had recently:I no longer work or learn the same way as many people around me. At first, I thought I was simply becoming impatient. But after reflecting deeper, I realised the feeling was more complicated than that. It was not:“I think I’m smarter than everyone.” In fact, I fear becoming that person. The real discomfort came from feeling: That contradiction created more emotional tension than I expected. The Trigger Started From Group Work The situation itself […]

What ChatGPT Observed About Me After Hours Of Conversations

portrait of man with stack of hats

At one point, I asked ChatGPT a simple question: “What have you learned about me from all these conversations?” What came back was not a personality test result or motivational quote. It was more like reading a behavioural reflection written by a neutral coach who had been observing recurring patterns over time. Some parts felt accurate immediately.Some parts made me uncomfortable.Some parts explained behaviours I had never fully connected before. This post is not about whether AI “knows” someone deeply. […]

Why Some People’s “Excited Sharing” Secretly Irritates Us

woman talking on the telephone

Recently, I realised I kept feeling oddly irritated whenever a friend excitedly shared her learning journey in a group chat. In this case, she had just started learning something I had learned few years back. She kept sharing discoveries, thoughts, and updates with enthusiasm. Objectively, nothing was wrong. But internally, I kept thinking:“Why does this feel so extra?” Then came the guilt:“Am I being mean?”“Am I jealous?”“Am I cold?” The deeper I analysed myself, the more uncomfortable I became. After […]

When Your Brain Keeps Running “What If” Scenarios Nonstop

Cluster of glowing question marks intertwined in a spherical shape

A late-night reflection with ChatGPT turned into this post because recently, I realised my brain has been constantly branching into “what if” scenarios. Not only for major life decisions. Even small things became mentally exhausting. Examples: Every situation seemed to split into multiple possible outcomes. And before I could even complete one task, my brain already started simulating: At one point, even resting felt difficult because my brain refused to stop anticipating. How This Usually Starts At first, anticipatory thinking […]